Wanting to Fear God

“The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction.” — Proverbs 1:7, KJV

Somehow I was never God-fearing. Yes, okay, I could think that I love God, but never so much to fear Him. This word never made sense to me, because I was taught that Jesus saved us from our sins, and eventually God’s love for us will forgive us unconditionally. So what was there to ‘fear’? I always imagine that ‘fearing God’ is to be afraid of God, to be afraid of His anger and punishment should we sin. That to me speaks a whole lot of difference and more than just loving Him.

But how could I fear this punishment, if it is not fearsome enough? After all according to my religion, I just have to spend some time in some place (ie. Purgatory) paying back for my sins, before (ta-dah!) I am forgiven and allowed to go to heaven. This cannot work for me.  For me, fear is a punishment so unimaginably severe, that will really STOP me from sinning further, or if I do sin, I feel so awful and want so badly to repent and be forgiven. This is the attitude that I want to have, and doing detention isn’t something that will create this kind of attitude in me. Sorry if I sound really undisciplined, but that’s how I am, and how I believe fear should be.

Where am I able to get this Fear?

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